For Some Reason We're Still Talking About Sister Jean - But This Time It's Because Of Her Coffee-Drinking Pet Monkey That Someone Stole

[Source] - When Sister Jean was about 10 years old and living in San Francisco, one of her family friends was an engineer on a cargo boat sent to South America. Before he left, he asked what Sister Jean and her two brothers wanted him to bring back, she told The Phoenix.

Their answer was simple: a monkey.

Lo and behold, the friend came back with a capuchin monkey for Sister Jean and her family. They called him Jerry, although she said she doesn’t know how they came up with that name. Her mom knitted a red sweater for him to wear and her dad built him a cage to stay in.

She also mentioned his love for coffee — with cream and sugar, of course.

“He had a mug … and he would take his piece of toast and dunk it in there, squeeze it out and eat it,” Sister Jean said. “Then he’d … pick up [his coffee] with both paws and drink it.”

Unfortunately, Sister Jean said, someone stole Jerry one day.

What. The. Fuck. Of course Sister Jean had a coffee-drinking pet monkey THAT SOMEONE STOLE. I admit I was out on Sister Jean. I had enough of her during Loyola's run. Granted, I couldn't get to the same hatred that Pres had for her, but it got annoying. Especially when the infamous picture of the press conference happened: 

Let me know whenever Sister Jean can get a bucket. Back to this story. This is why I hate this stupid day. I had to check to make sure this wasn't some jokester April Fool's article. It's not. It's told to multiple organizations as I saw both this Loyola student paper and The Athletic run a piece on it. Just leads me to one quick question. 

Who the fuck steals a monkey? I guess if you see a monkey wearing a sweater sipping on some coffee that's the one you snag, but that seems pretty fucked up. I'd love to see this little 1920's monkey drinking coffee too. Probably way better than the monkey that fuck Ross had. 

Other note: the name Jerry for a monkey kinda stinks. Part of me likes the idea of it because you can be like ah can't come out tonight, gonna hang out with Jerry and confuse people that you got a friend over. Really it's just your pet monkey. But Jerry is just so boring. 

All I know is if Loyola really wants to ever make a run again they'll put a monkey on Sister Jean's shoulders at every home game. You'd be stupid not to do that. Just have the two of them sitting in the corner of the gym. That would be somewhat intimidating. Get the varsity jacket off of her, monkey on and that's a different program. 

PS: Never forget KFC's dad had a one-eyed monkey and that's not the best story of him: